Homesick

OK, so today is the fourth of July and I confess I am feeling homesick. I've had waves of homesickness that come and go over the past few months. At first I felt really guilty when I would long for America. In many ways I feel like I should think of Africa as home. But a few months back when William and I were at the Mayfield (a missionary guest house in Nairobi) we were talking to some missionaries of 20+ years who were talking about looking forward to going "home" to America. It made me feel a bit better.

Maybe it makes me a bad missionary; but some days I long for a cup of Starbucks with the companionship of one of my lifelong friends. There are days when I'm exhausted at the end of the day I wish I could swing by Baja Fresh to grab something for dinner. Or even run into the grocery store to get a can of soup, a real salad and some fresh bread. Making everything from scratch on the stove top gets old every now and then. Sometimes I actually miss just driving down the CA freeways. I never realized how blessed I was with the excellent Biblical teachers I sat under at church. Worshiping in English with a body of believers is something I look forward to doing again whenver we make it back to the states. I miss going to the beach for the day. I miss being able to talk to friends and family without one of us stressing over how much the phone bill is going to be. Sometimes I just feel downright lonely.

But all that being said I know that I am where I'm supposed to be. And I have to smile when I remind myself of the many years that I longed to live in Africa. Every now and then as I'm walking through the village I stop and say to myself "Wow! I live here!" I've been blessed with the world's greatest husband. He is so gentle and compassionate when I have days like today. And the reality is that none of this is home. My true home waits for me. The day that I leave this earth will be the day when I finally begin to understand just what home really is.