A Hard Week

This week has been a hard one for me. On Thurs morning I got a phone call from my mom telling me that my grandmother had passed away. Her circumstances over the last year have been pretty bad. My mom (who also happens to be my hero!) has been bending over backwards trying to do everything she possibly could for grandma. What is really hard for me is that I never got to say goodbye.

I never understood before why people would fly great distances to attend a funeral. It's too late to say goodbye to the person. But now I'm understanding... There is something about the ritual of a funeral that brings a sort of closure. Due to our financial situation and the fact that I'm half way around the world, I won't be able to attend the funeral.

My grandmother was an amazing woman. She faced so many obstacles in life. She became a single parent of four in an era where divorce was not okay. She went back to school to get an education so that she would be able to provide for her family. As a young girl my grandmother insisted that I learn to type. She had one of the first computer models that was available to the public. Every year she would throw swimming parties for all the kids in the neighborhood and her grandchildren. She used to take my sister and I on trips to stay with her in her condo at the beach or in Palm Springs. She was never a huggy, cuddly, type grandma. And she didn't use the words "I love you" very often. But I always knew she did.

I feel emotionally drained right now. My computer is completely broken. I'm trying to make arrangements for it to get back to America to be repaired. In the meantime I've been incredibly blessed with a loaner laptop. But all of my addresses (including my e-mail address book) were in the other computer. I have pictures and data that haven't been backed up in months. We are getting ready to head to Kijabe to take a family member and patient for surgery. We will be taking public transport which is always incredibly draining and exhausting to me. We also need to make a side trip into Nairobi to work on William's passport and visa. I get overwhelmed just thinking about it. It looks like another long and tiresome week ahead. Big sigh.........