Well it's been pretty much ages since I've been over here on the personal blog. These days I do most of my writing on the official Hope Matters blog. But after an incredibly full and somewhat difficult day today I was putting some thoughts down as I processed my day. I thought I would go ahead and share them here.
Traffic was nasty heading back out of town. But I decided to crank up the music in the Toyota Land Cruiser and drive like a Kenyan. I’ve discovered that the more years one is here, the more erratic the driving becomes. Meaning, you drive like a local. I have a few other mzungu (white) friends who definitely drive 100% like Kenyans. I’m afraid that if you give me another year I might be there myself. I’m getting much closer these days and definitely have my moments.
As the traffic finally started breaking up a bit, I had the music cranked up, and was singing and moving along. This crazy, mzungu, lady, driver just owning the lousy diversion, dirt, roads. And as I realized I was owning the roads I just took it in. Here I am in Africa. In AFRICA. Yes I’m in m eighth year of living here full time now, but sometimes it just hits me afresh. I really live in Africa. I drive in Africa. I shop for my groceries here. I do my business here. I live my life here. I’m not just here on a sight-seeing trip. I’m not here to hand out some medicines and bandaids or hold a come-to-Jesus meeting and then go back home to a normal life in America. I. live. here.
I’m living my dream. In AFRICA! And I get to drive a 20-year-old beast of a vehicle over horrible roads, into the most gorgeous sunsets. I get to walk through dark, dark, dark twists and turns in life. I get to step into pain and suffering on a very regular basis. It is my privilege. It is my call. It is my obligation. It is why I breathe. Why I was created. To live and work and serve in Africa. And that’s why I do it. Because it’s what I was made for.
I’m not here to meet a quota. I’m not here to make someone else happy or proud of me. I’m not here to become famous. I’m certainly not here to become rich. I’m here to serve my Jesus. I’m here to live my very life’s purpose. I’m here to perhaps, just maybe, make a positive difference in someone’s life. I’m here to take up the responsibility to be Jesus with skin on. I fail yes. I fall down sometimes. More times than I would like actually. But I get back up. No, HE lifts me back up. He carries me when I am weak. And he has given me the incredible privilege of giving myself away to the people of this amazing and wonderful country of Kenya. May I never forget that truth....